27 ways to strengthen your self-care foundations
Sometimes, what makes the difference between simply talking about self-care and actually doing it is a bit of inspiration. Whether this list provides you with new ideas or simply a timely reminder of an activity you already love, my hope is that it will spark something beautiful for you in your self-care habits.
Remember that self-care need not occur in isolation. Just because we think we ‘should’ have the discipline to do it on our own, doesn’t mean that’s the way it will go down in reality. Practicing these techniques in community can be a wonderful way to promote consistency and amplify their positive effects. And working on these things during a counselling session can help create momentum at home. Your counsellor may also encourage you to develop your home self-care practice so that you can experience increased progress in therapy.
Regardless of whether you try out these tools alone or with others, when you nourish yourself, those around you benefit as well.
Self-care doesn’t need to be elaborate or structured: it is a practice of sinking into your inner knowing. What do I need right now?
Establish Your Personal ‘Business Hours’. If you find your to-do list expanding to fill all hours of the day, leaving you feeling depleted and caught in a cycle of semi-productivity, consider imposing your own personal ‘Hours of Operation’. Devote time to cultivating a morning routine before thinking about the day’s obligations; set a cutoff time in the evening after which you don’t engage with worry or work.
Box Breathing Technique. This technique helps to calm the nervous system and reduce stress and anxiety. To practice box breathing, you'll need to find a quiet, comfortable place to sit or lie down. Then, follow these steps: inhale slowly for a count of four, hold the breath for a count of four, exhale slowly for a count of four, and finally hold the breath for another count of four. This completes one cycle. Aim to practice for a few minutes at a time.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation. This technique can help to relieve tension and promote relaxation. Starting from your toes and working your way up to your head, tense each muscle group for five seconds, and then relax for 30 seconds before moving on to the next muscle group.
Mindfulness Meditation. This practice involves focusing on your breath while acknowledging and accepting feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations. Begin by sitting comfortably, closing your eyes, and taking a few deep breaths. Then, allow your breath to return to its natural rhythm and simply notice it, without trying to change it in any way. If your mind begins to wander, gently bring your focus back to your breath. Many counsellors can help guide you in mindfulness meditation if you need a kickstart for this practice.
Journaling. Writing about your thoughts and feelings can help you identify patterns or triggers in your mood, gain clarity on your thoughts and beliefs, and access your intuition. Try to write for a few minutes each day, without worrying about grammar or punctuation. The aim is to express yourself freely, bypassing the “inner censor”.
Gratitude Practice. Each day, write down three things you're grateful for. They can be big or small, but the act of recognizing and focusing on positive elements of your life can help shift your mindset over time.
Guided Imagery. This technique involves visualizing a scene or situation in which you feel deeply at peace or at home to promote relaxation. There are many guided imagery recordings available online that you can use to help guide your visualization, and this work can also be done with a counsellor.
Grounding Techniques. These methods can help you reorient yourself when you're feeling overwhelmed or disconnected. One simple technique is the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise: Identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
Yoga and Mindful Movement. Physical activity is known to boost mood, and yoga can be particularly beneficial as it incorporates mindfulness and deep breathing. Feel free also to experiment with non-standard stretches that address the areas of greatest tension in your system; you are the expert on your own body. Slowing down and breathing into the areas of greatest density can be transformative.
Positive Affirmations. Positive affirmations are statements that can help combat negative thoughts and foster a more positive self-perception. Create a few affirmations that resonate with you, such as "I am capable" or "I am worthy of happiness," and repeat them to yourself regularly.
Art Therapy. You don't need to be an artist to benefit from art therapy. Engaging in creative activities like drawing, painting, or sculpting can help express emotions and relieve stress.
Cooking. Cooking can act as a form of creative expression and can provide a sense of accomplishment. Plus, a balanced diet can support overall mental health.
Mindful Eating. This involves paying full attention to your food as you prepare and eat it, noticing the flavors, textures, and smells. Challenge yourself to refrain from multitasking. This practice is a form of meditation and can help improve your relationship with food.
Self-Compassion Exercises. Depression often brings with it harsh self-judgment. Practice speaking to yourself as you would a friend who's going through a tough time, with kindness and understanding.
Nature Walks. Spending time in nature can have a calming effect and boost mood. Try to take regular walks in a park, forest, or other natural environment, and practice mindfulness as you observe the sights, sounds, and smells around you.
Sit Spot. Another nature-based activity, the Sit Spot is a practice of open awareness and curiosity. Sit quietly in a favourite outdoor spot and expand your awareness outwards to observe the other beings who live in or visit that space. The Sit Spot can be as short as five minutes and your chosen location can be as close to home as your balcony or porch. The easier it is to access, the more likely that you will begin to build a relationship with that place.
Listening to Music or Sounds. Calming music, nature sounds, or white noise can help reduce feelings of anxiety and promote relaxation. Consider creating a playlist of tracks that soothe you for easy access when needed.
Regular Body Scan. This is a type of meditation where you neutrally observe different parts of your body, starting from your toes and working your way up to your head or vice versa. It can help you connect with your physical embodiment and experience emotions that may be associated with areas of tension.
Light Therapy. Exposure to bright light can help regulate mood, particularly for those experiencing seasonal affective disorder. You can purchase light boxes designed for this purpose, which can be used at home.
Aromatherapy. Certain scents, such as lavender, chamomile, and bergamot, can have a calming effect. Consider using essential oils, candles, or incense as part of your relaxation routine.
Digital Detox. Reducing screen time, especially before bed, can help improve sleep quality and reduce anxiety. Try setting designated periods each day to unplug from digital devices.
Animal Therapy. Spending time with animals can provide emotional support and stress relief. If you don't own a pet, consider spending time with a friend's pet, seeking out equine therapy, etc.
Gardening. Gardening can be therapeutic, providing physical activity, immersion in nature, and a sense of accomplishment. If you don't have access to a garden, indoor plants can provide similar benefits.
Bibliotherapy/Podcasts. Reading can provide an emotional state change, as well as offering knowledge and insight. Non-fiction books on mindfulness, therapeutic modalities of interest, or others' experiences with mental health may be helpful. Fiction can equally be a resource for effecting change. For auditory learners, podcasts can be therapeutic. Visit the Resources page for counselling-related materials that I love!
Regular Preventative Physical Health Care. Physical and mental health are closely linked. Regular physical health check-ups can help maintain overall health and catch potential issues early. Complementary health care, such as massage, acupuncture, craniosacral therapy and osteopathy, can support emotional regulation and personal growth.
Laughter Therapy. Laughter can help reduce stress and boost mood. Consider watching a funny movie, reading a humorous book, or practicing laughter yoga.
Connecting with Others over a Common Goal. Working towards a common goal and helping others can provide a sense of purpose and improve mood. Consider finding a local organization you're interested in getting involved with. On an informal level, ask yourself who in your social circle could use some support with a project.
Nature time is an incredible resource for improving mood and regulating the nervous system.
Remember, what works for one person might not work for another, so it's important to try out different techniques and find what works best for you.
It's also important check in with yourself regarding what kinds of additional support may be required beyond self-care tools. Sometimes, reaching out to a counsellor or another support person can be the lifeline you need. (And if you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm, or have the sense that you are reaching the point of being unable to cope, please seek the appropriate help - e.g. using the local Nelson services listed on the Resources page.)
Counselling is neither a substitute for self-care nor an admission of failure in self-care. Counselling is a bridge between where you are now and where you want to be — the future in which you feel nourished by your personal practices, your interpersonal relationships, your peer support networks, and your life’s projects.
A counsellor’s goal should always be to empower you with new insights, skills, and habits that get you back in the driver’s seat of your life. That is, a counsellor’s job is to make themself redundant. Counselling is not the foundation of your self-care practice; it is the extra boost that we sometimes need to make it through hard times, remember that we’re not alone, and learn new tools for wellbeing. Your work with your counsellor should radiate into various aspects of your life, making self-care feel more exciting and doable.
Wondering whether we would be a good fit for counselling or craniosacral therapy? I offer a 20-minute consultation appointment so that you can find the right therapist for you, risk-free.